Mummy FAQ: Are You Going To Have Another?

Monday, September 12, 2016


"Is he a good baby? Don't have another one then, because the next one will definitely not be"  -  Random shop assistant

As I am writing this, my baby is falling asleep in his swing chair, cuddling a blanket, for his 2 hour morning nap. I realise that if I had two children, this situation would not exist, in fact, I doubt I would be able to write a blog post at all.

This is the most frequently asked question I have ever had from family, friends AND complete strangers, passers by/basically anyone who loves babies and looks in my pram to say "aw how cute" whilst he is asleep. Babies generally are cute when they are asleep, but not when you are trying to manoeuvre them out of a vest they have pood on without getting it on their face. Nobody sees that side when you are just effortlessly pushing a pram through the town. 

O is just turning 6 months next week, and me and Anthony have started having the "should we have another" conversation. Anthony wants another RIGHT NOW (is he fucking mental) with a small age gap so they can grow up together, and I, on the other hand, would happily live the rest of my life just having O if I could. I do, however, realise that it would be lovely for O to have a sibling, hence why if I have more than 1, I will only be having 2, and that is that.

But when? 

I have scoured so many blogs and asked on every parent page I believe exists on Facebook, and I am still no further forward. For every "I have a 15 month age gap and it's brilliant" there is a "DO NOT have a small age gap it is horrible", which is getting me bloody nowhere. I have a list of pros and cons floating around in my head, and my heart is telling me that if I am leaning more towards not having one yet, I probably shouldn't. 

Here goes.

Pros:

The main reason, of course, O will have a brother or sister he can grow up with. He will have someone to play with and someone to develop with, and his younger sibling can also watch him to learn and develop too.

Having a small age gap will essentially get things out of the way quicker. I always wonder if that's a nice way to feel about your children. I find myself saying that a lot, 'I'll get them out of the way all in one go', as though when they turn 18 I am going to pack them up and ship them away to another address with a two-finger wave goodbye and a celebration party. Well, you never know. 

I will have the family that I have always wanted. From being a little girl, I always wanted to marry the man of my dreams, live in a lovely house with a big beautiful garden that two little people could run around in.

Cons:

How am I possibly going to cope with one child running around and a baby? What will I do if both of them cry? What if they're both ill? How much money will I need? Can we afford two lots of everything? What about childcare? Will O get jealous? Will I be able to give him enough attention? Will the second baby be as well behaved as O?

And here is where I am at now. I have no idea. I am leaning towards having another when O goes to nursery as I will find the sleep deprivation a bit easier knowing I can sleep and have a bit of a break whilst he's there. This also means I can give the newborn the attention they need throughout the day without O feeling jealous, and then hopefully will be able to develop a bit more of a routine. I also think when he's around 3 he will understand the whole situation a lot more.

We are so lucky with O. He is literally the definition of a '12 hour baby'. He is so laid back and placid (definitely takes after his dad on that one), that having him is so easy. One common occurrence I have found surrounding this topic is that almost everyone says when their second arrived, they realised how they weren't grateful enough for when they only had one.

Because of that, I think I will just stick to our three person family at the moment - if you don't count the cat.



What was the age gap between your children? Did you regret it? Also, don't forget to follow me on Bloglovin (click here)

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